Sam to William: Hey dad?
William: Yes, Sam?
Sam: How viscous is honey?


On the 45 min ride home from Ikea:
Sam: Mom, what is 30+200+500+and finally 346?


As we are lying on Sam's bed, I look at him, readying myself for a serious Mother/Son conversation:
Me: Sam, what do you want to be when you grow up?
Sam: um, mom, what I really want to be when I grow up is . . . hott.


Sam, a few days after the dog died from a stroke: Mom, am I going to have a strike?

Sam while buying my mom a birthday card for her 59th: Ok mom, I want to get her one with the numbers on it.  How about 90? That is a huge number! No, not 90.  That is too close to dead.  How about 16, she'll like 16. No, that is too close to me.  Oh, here's 40 that is perfect.

Sam on hurting his elbow at Costco: Oh no, did it get broken? Oh no, now I have to go to the hospital and I'll get dead.

Enter Sam Stage Left (crying hysterically):  Daddy! I threw a rock and hit Hannah's eye. It was an accident! She went home! I am  so sorry! It was an accident! I hurt my friend!
Daddy: Well, Sam, if it was an accident and you didn't mean to do it, then it is ok. I am sure that her eye will be fine.
Sam (Settling down):  Yea, it was an accident, I didn't mean to hit her eye.  I was trying to hit the middle. (as he is pointing to the space between his own eyes)
*******
Sam is lying in bed with Mommy and Lucy.  (Half asleep he lifts his head and looks at his sister): Lucy, you are the bestest and most beautiful baby in the whole world.  You sweetheart. I love you. Don't tell Oliver.(And then he goes back to sleep.)
*******
Sam to Lucy: Lucy, sometimes I think that you are a watermelon.
*******
Sam's observations of the Universe:  NO mom! Neptune is blue!
*******
Sam on going to a new first grade class (sobbing on his mom's lap:  This is the worst day of my entire life!  My heart is broken! Split in two! A freezer pop will make me feel better.
Mom: No, Sam, it won't.
Sam: How about a movie then?
Mom: Ok.